Everything Is So Much Louder In The Dark
by indianqueens
Summary: They both knew that eventually those 'sleepovers' would get too much.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I own neither character, sadly. Credit goes to Tess Gerritsen and TNT. Thanks.

**Note:** Not sure whether to continue this, at the moment I'm thinking it stands alone quite nicely, but that might just be my fear of dialogue speaking!

These were the moments Maura treasured the most, lying next to Jane when the night was still, studying the slight rise and fall of her chest with every breath.

She was fully aware of the, well, implications that came with staring at a sleeping woman at night. Even in the safe haven of her own spare bedroom it made her nervous to speculate about what would happen if anyone were to hear the thoughts currently spiralling through her brain.

"What if something happens and I never get to see that smile again? The one she seems to reward me with when I've done something that takes her by surprise."

Maura didn't deal in 'what if's', only at this time of night when she allowed herself to be overwhelmed by the barrage of thoughts that she could usually control.

"How am I meant to tell her that she is the only person who has the ability to terrify me, yet lying here I've never felt more at home?"

Maura had never been easily embarrassed, but she didn't think she could bear the humiliation of Jane not sharing her feelings.

"How can I go on…never telling Jane that I…"

Maura stopped herself. Like she did every time she came close to admitting just how strong her feelings were. She desperately tried to push the thoughts away, turning over violently to face the ceiling.

...

Jane was convinced that she was the best actress that Boston had ever seen. No seriously, pretending to sleep? It was her warm up act. Trying not to stir when she sensed Maura's endless gaze, now that was an accomplishment.

The staring never really stopped, but during the day Jane could make the intensity melt away with a carefully timed comment, or a dorky grimace. At night it felt as if the tension were actually alive, as if it were shouting at them through the darkness to move, to finally just reach out and feel for the other woman.

It infuriated Jane that Maura always seemed so damn sure of herself, even when the contact between the two was reduced to just her firm gaze. How was she meant to ever say anything about the emotions that were constantly rising and falling inside of her while Maura remained so quietly determined, even through this mess?

This particular night, however, something burst inside of Jane. Not a huge, cataclysmic explosion of sudden certainty and conviction, it was more like her body simply could not handle the strain of lying still and not acknowledging the feelings that were so much _louder_ in the dark.

Hearing Maura move pushed her over the edge; her eyes flew open as she went to speak.

"Jane?" Before she could say anything she heard her name uttered in a low voice.

"Maura," she replied, not finding it at all odd that when she had opened her mouth the other woman had spoken for her.

"What are we doing?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Note: **So I caved. Hopefully it's okay...not too out of character or British! Reviews very much welcome as characterisation is tricky with these two.

"I don't know, but I now know why we drink so much coffee…jeez Maura, stare much?"

"Jane," she huffed, "be serious."

"I'll try, but I'm making no promises here."

The silence hummed between them as they continued their stand-off, each occasionally breaking eye contact to scan the other's face expectantly. Maura's mind moving more frantically with each passing second, she decided to take a deep breath and finally verbalise the feelings she had been desperately trying to convey with every stolen glance. She stretched out her hand into the no-man's land between them, placing it with determination on the cool sheets, hoping that it was the right thing to do.

"Jane," she repeated, "I'm…guessing here."

The other woman was quick to respond with a wry grin, "It's a miracle!"

"I'm guessing here, but I think we need to talk about this. Where _this_ is going?"

She watched as Jane started to toy with her hand, almost lacing her fingers through her own, brushing her thumb deliberately against the knuckles. As soon as she had settled into the touch it was swiftly denied, leaving an emptiness that was somehow worse than it had been before. Jane's eyes darted around the room, looking at anything but Maura as Maura herself tried not to speak, not to question the other woman before she was ready. Eventually she saw Jane visibly brace herself, and deftly take her hand in her own.

"What we have now, Maura, it's good. I mean, I don't know anyone else who I would want to spend so much time with. Hell, I ran a marathon for you."

"But?"

"But then we lie here together, and it scares me, how comfortable it is. How easily I could just do this every night."

With a sigh Maura nodded in agreement, knowing that it must have been hard for the other woman to admit to her fear. Tears threatened to well-up as she pushed just that little bit harder.

"I'm not good at asking for things, but I need to know that eventually you will be ready for more, because I am certainly more than willing to try."

Jane pulled her hand away. Just as Maura's tears finally won the battle, they were brushed away and replaced with a warm caress that she sank into.

"I think I am too," Jane whispered, "but slowly okay? I spook easy."

Maura's laugh shot through the tension as the two edged closer. Tracing her hand up and down the exposed skin of the detective's arm, she relaxed in the darkness that was so much quieter than before.


End file.
